Deep Despair
by Atomic-Rye
Summary: RonHermione. He was the love of his life, somehow she can only see him as a friend and nothing else. His feeling for her is getting stronger that he cant take it anymore. His feeling for Hermione is his 'Deep Despair'.


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter I just borrowed the characters to satisfy my imagination.

NOTE: This is my first Ron/Hermione fanfic so I hope that you like it and please be gentle. Reviews are very appreciated.

DEEP DESPAIR

CHAPTER 1: FRIENDSHIP 

Ron Weasley is sitting in the Gryffindor common room, in front of the fireplace. His head is leaning the couch and he is holding a book on both hands. It was unusual for him to read books, but if you look at him closely he is not reading the book. He is pretending that he is reading the book. His two best friends Harry Potter and Hermione Granger are sitting across him. Harry is doing his Charms essay and Hermione is helping him. Ever since they had started their seventh year at Hogwarts, Ron had changed a lot. He had matured a lot, he learned to become independent and he also stops asking for help when it comes to schoolwork. Ron had learned to deal things with his own, he no longer ask help to anybody. He has stepped out of Harry Potter's shadow and since the war that is going on is affecting everybody he had decided to stop being a nuisance. He doesn't want to bother everybody especially his friends Harry and Hermione. They have more things to deal with compare to him.

Harry and Hermione are working on with their Charms homework. Hermione had asked him earlier if he had already finished his homework. Ron merely replied and same as usual Hermione lectured him again about school that he needed to take it seriously because his future depends on it. Its not that Ron doesn't care about his study, its just the fact that he is trying to put a distance between him and his friends. For the past year things had changed. There was this invisible wall that he created between him and his friends, it's a sad reality that they don't even mind at all whether he is present or not.

Ron held the book higher leveling his head. Across the room he could see how Hermione and Harry look so cute together. A deep sigh escapes from Ron as he look at them one more time then he stood up from his chair and leave them alone. Ron went straight to their dormitory and throws his self in bed. He can't stop thinking about Harry and Hermione. Ron stared at the ceiling as he put his arm on his head. He can't bear the fact of seeing them together, he is jealous of their closeness and it's not just a normal jealousy because he is in love with his best friend Hermione.

It was the summer before their seventh year that Ron had realized that he is in love with Hermione. It's a mistake that he had just realized it recently. In fact he had a crush on her for as long as he can remember. He just can't admit it to his self before that he is in love with her. It is the main reason why he had put a distance between him and his friends. No matter how he adored Hermione its not easy for him to confess his love for her. He is afraid of rejection. No matter how much he loves her, it's not easy for him to deal with it. It's obvious that Hermione doesn't want anything from him, aside from their friendship. For as long as Ron is concern, it seems that Hermione is more concern about Harry compare to him. Who is he anyway? He is nothing compare to Harry. He came from a poor family who has nothing to be proud of. Harry is the-boy-who-lived and he's just a friend of the-boy-who-lived. Ron can merely play Quidditch, unlike Harry who has a natural talent when it comes to Quidditch.

Ron is lost in his thoughts that he did not notice the person that came in inside their dormitory. "Is something bothering you, Ron?" it was Harry. Ron looks at his friend as he got up from his bed and watched Harry as he put his books away.

"No, Im okay" lied Ron. "I just don't feel good"

"Are you sick or something? Or are you just worried about your brothers? You know doing things for the order?" asked Harry as he sit on his bed facing Ron.

"No, it's not like that. Just the weather I guess" said Ron and he stood up from his bed. "So are you done with your homework?" asked Ron changing the topic of their conversation.

"Yeah. It was kind of hard, but we managed to finish it. Thanks to Hermione, she's really a big help" grinned Harry. "What about you are you done?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, remember I skipped dinner? I went to the library and did my homework there" replied Ron.

"I noticed something had changed about you"

"Me? Changed? Your imagining things Harry!" denied Ron followed with a fake laugh. "And why do you think that I have changed?" asked Ron.

"You don't usually hang out with us anymore. I miss those days laughing with you" admitted Harry.

"Don't say that, I do still hang out with you" denied Ron. _Of course not when Hermione is around_. Ron said to his self. "You know sometimes Im just busy with my Prefect duties, and your busy too with the DA meetings and all that. Maybe that's why you have said that we don't hang out like the way that we used to" added Ron.

"Yeah maybe that's the reason I have said that" said Harry as he lay in his bed. "Lets go sleep then" he added.

"Yeah" said Ron as he went back into his bed and went to sleep.

"Night, Ron" said Harry.

"Night" replied Ron.

However that night, like any other night that had passed Ron cant seem to get a proper sleep. Even in his dreams all he could think about is Hermione. In his every waking hour Hermione's image keeps on invading his thoughts. Ron looks back in the past, on how he had met Hermione on how they had became friends. Everything that has something to do with her, he remembers it. He even remembers how jealous he felt when Hermione went with Victor Krum during the Yule Ball. Of course by that time, he doesn't realize it back then that he is in love with her. Ron even remembers how they fight like cat and dog, thinking about it made him smile.

The following morning, Ron doesn't feel very good due to the lack of sleep. His eyes are all red and certainly he is not in good mood. He is walking down in the corridor, heading to the Great Hall for breakfast. He is alone; Harry and Hermione are not with him. When he woke up, Harry is still not in bed. Not wanting to disturb him, Ron decided not to wake him up. Harry has more things to deal with compare to him, so he decided to give Harry some time to have some rest. Unlike him the only things that keep him worrying about are his brothers on the war, and of course his desperate feelings for Hermione. Not like Harry, there is no big expectation that has been put on his head. Ron sighed hoping that things are going to be easier for all of them.

"Ron! Ron!" called a voice behind Ron, he looked back only to find out that it was Hermione whose calling him.

"Good morning" greeted Ron pretending to be cheerful. _Isn't ironic that the person that you want to avoid first thing in the morning is the very first one that you see in the morning_. Ron said to his self. He turned back to wait for Hermione, wondering why Harry is not with her.

"Where's Harry?" asked Hermione.

_She didn't even bother to greet me_. Ron thought. "I thought he's with you" he said.

"Oh Ron, don't tell me you left him in the dormitory and he is still sleeping" said Hermione. "You didn't even bother to wake him up" scolded Hermione.

"He look tired, so I decided to give him more time to sleep. Its not even late Hermione, its only six thirty" defended Ron and before he could say more Hermione already left him in the corridor. "Where you going?" yelled Ron.

"Im going to wake him up" said Hermione running back to the Gryffindor Tower.

"Yelling first thing in the morning" commented somebody behind Ron's back. He turned only to find that it was Draco Malfoy. "Honestly Weasley, don't you ever have some sense of decency" said Draco.

"Whatever you say Malfoy" snapped Ron. "And don't you ever start to insult me again and again because I have grown tired of your nonsense tactic" added Ron.

"Are my ears deceiving me?" teased Malfoy trying to irritate Ron. "Since when did you learn to talk back? Is that the effect of hanging more less with Potter?" asked Draco. Ron look at Draco with amazement, how did Draco know that he and his friends are growing far apart.

"You don't have to answer my question, Weasley. Anyway I have come here to ask about your little sister"

"What do you want from my sister?" demanded Ron as anger started to rise up from his check.

"Relax Weasley, its not that Im going to hurt your sister" said Draco with a smirk.

"Malfoy!" called a voice behind Ron's back. "Good morning, Ron" it was Ginny, greeting Ron cheerfully. "Hey Malfoy, you look good today" said Ginny to Draco.

"Can you come here a minute" said Ron dragging his sisters hand away from Draco. "What were you thinking?" asked Ron to Ginny.

"Will let go of my hand and listen to me for a while" said Ginny with slight annoyance in her voice.

"Listen for what?" asked Ron.

"Let go of me, ok!" said Ginny as she pulled her hands out her brother's hand and she walks towards Draco. "Im sorry about that, you see my brother here is so protective when it comes me" said Ginny to Draco.

"That's ok, I understand your brother is just paranoid" said Draco followed with a smirk. "Lets go then" he added and before Ron could protest Draco and Ginny already left him.

Breakfast didn't help either to ease up his mood. For no reason Hermione was mad at him for not waking Harry up. On the other hand Harry didn't even say anything to Ron, he had gotten used to the way Hermione and Ron fights. Since Ron is not in mood he decided to leave Hermione alone, even though she's scolding him on her top of her breath. Unlike the way that he used to, Ron decided not to say something to Hermione. He doesn't want to start a fight with her. Its no use anyway, he never wins an argument when it comes to her.

_Great! This day couldn't get any better!_, Ron said to his self as he is spreading some butter on his toast. _What do we have for today?_ _Double Potions with Slytherin, what a nice way to start my day! _He thought, it was then that he remembered how Malfoy came to him asking about his sister. Ron made a mental note to his self to confront his sister later.

Ron's mood had become worst during the Potions class. Snape was certainly on one of his mood picking on Gryffindor student. Today was no exception; Snape had paired him with Draco Malfoy to work on with their Potions. Ron involuntarily walked to where Draco Malfoy was sitting and Draco Malfoy giving him his patented smug look as usual. There was something that Ron had noticed about Malfoy, he didn't insult him or didn't even say any bad remark about him. Draco Malfoy was just giving him some dirty look, which is quite uncomfortable to Ron's side. The class had ended peacefully which is unusual during Potions class. Ron stood up from her chair after the very last drop of potions that he and Draco made had been transferred to the vial that Snape gave them. Ron marked the Potions and handed it in to Snape, he turned around checking if his friends are still in the dungeon. Much to Ron's disappointment they already left without him. Ron walked to the door then someone tapped his back. Ron turned around only to find Malfoy standing on his back.

"What do you want Malfoy?" asked Ron.

"So, your friends left without you?" asked Draco. Ron looked at him speechless. He was about to say something when Draco handed him a box of chocolate. "Here, give this to your sister" Draco said and he left leaving Ron behind still wondering what that was all about.

TO BE CONTINUED 


End file.
